learning to rest
Every year around this time, I take time off to see family. Most of my business is centered around showing up in person, and as a result, I find it hard to pull away. I wonder if I should shorten my visit, take less time off, or create more opportunities to work during my visits home. During my break, I sometimes find myself feeling restless and resistant, my attention pulled away from the current moment to think, plan, or worry about something in the future.
The resonance of this season, the Water element, reminds us of the importance of resting now. The yearly cycle involves growth, creation, harvesting, and refinement. Taking a pause to look back, reflect, and rest is essential in order to prepare for the next cycle. In a culture that often promotes hustle and multitasking, we may have trained ourselves to override our instincts to slow down and embrace the present moment. Slowing down or resting can feel like an enormous privilege for many of us, so it may help to look a little more closely at what it means to rest, and what conditions are actually necessary in order to experience it.
A teacher of mine, Mirah, has said that true rest is when there is nowhere else you need to be.
This always reminds me of an experience I had years ago, when my daughter was just an infant. She was teething, up every hour or more in the night. Already exhausted, I struggled to soothe her. I became anxious about my full day of work the next morning, and I started to feel frustrated. But then something interesting happened. I remembered my teacher’s words about rest. Through my sleep-deprived fog, I wondered if I could treat my daughter’s cries like a cue to be present with her, without worrying about the next morning, or even the next wakeup. I considered how very special it was for me to be able to respond to her, provide her comfort, support, and love. As I accepted the moment, I started to enjoy the moment, a warm, secret cocoon with me and my baby. My body relaxed, and even while awake, I felt that I was resting. I felt peace and gratitude. The actual activities of the night didn’t change. I was still up responding to her cries, but my experience of it had completely shifted. The next morning and all throughout the day, I was pleasantly surprised that my energy levels were just fine. In the years since learning that lesson, I have sometimes been able to tap back into that state. It takes some trust, and I have noticed how deeply ingrained my habitual mind might fight the acceptance. But when I get there, I often discover this incredible state of rest.
Although it might be a little easier to practice finding the feeling when on a break from the usual rhythms of life, I believe it is possible to find anytime.
So during this holiday break, whether playing with nieces and nephews, washing dishes, or simply being in the company of loved ones, I remind myself that being present might lead to the rest that I need.
Wherever you are and whatever you're doing, I hope you find restorative peace even in the midst of life's activities, if only for a moment.
