connecting to our wholeness
In my younger years, I struggled with self acceptance. I spent countless hours privately critiquing everything about myself (especially my physical form). My New Years' resolutions were pretty typical: exercise more, improve myself somehow, probably try a diet. Each year I would feel shame and frustration when I didn’t achieve my unrealistic goals. My perspective shifted greatly when my daughter was born, and I experienced a totally pure and unmatched love for her beyond any of her physical traits. Wanting to protect this truth for her, it led me to question the prerequisites I had set for self acceptance, and the weight and shame of expectations I had imposed on myself. As each year passes, my New Years resolutions (if you can call them that) have shifted significantly.
Years ago, Yoga Soup introduced me to the quote by Carl Rogers, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change” and yet, it’s not change that I’m really after anymore. The less I focus on self-improvement, and more on feeling my wholeness, the more honest, present, and authentic I feel in my life.
In non dual traditions, this acceptance could be considered conscious awareness—a current always available to us, a steady peace we can find in each present moment. When we connect to the stream, our ego fades back, and we feel the expansiveness and connection with the collective. In those moments, we can recognize that we are already complete. We experience a fullness in our lives without grasping, with nothing to prove. Some describe it as love.
We can look to the Water element for more inspiration: at first glance, water appears to be a master of change, gracefully adapting to any elemental challenge. As ice, it can preserve life or chill to an extreme. In heat it transforms into steam, capable of both soothing and scalding. It provides a soft landing for a cliff dive, but with patience and persistence, it can carve stone. It boils and rushes, or pools as an energy reserve, a conductor of electricity.
Yet while it appears to yield to its surroundings, its fundamental structure remains the same: 2 hydrogen atoms, one oxygen. Its unchanging essence brings a quiet confidence and strength in any environment. Contemplating water reminds us of our essential nature beyond our superficial traits and assets. Something deep and powerful—a wholeness that we carry with us in all of our forms. Some may call it love.
As we step into the new year, what would it be like to begin the year together, connected to our rich underlying wholeness?
